OFUN: The Official Fanfiction University of Narnia
by Warriormaid
Summary: OFUN: the Official Fanfiction University of Narnia. Where mice clear their throats way too much, mini-serpents dog students' every steps, and Peter comes complaining to Miss Sara every other day.
1. Chapter 1

**A.N. And now I'm back to my homeverse, Narnia! **

**Disclaimer: The OFU ideas all belong to Miss Cam and Narnia belongs to the great C.S. Lewis.**

**-unbetaed-**

Chapter 1

Smiling, Rachel typed the last sentence of the first chapter of her newest story._ High King Peter took Ker'lisse into his arms and gently carried her inside his majestic castle. _She saved the document and uploaded it onto her account.

Pausing over the title box, she asked herself, "What should I call it? _A love never to be broken_? _By Aslan's blessing_? Oh, I know! _Foredestined by the stars_!" Satisfied with this title, she typed this in and clicked Publish New Story, having already come up with a summary.

Just before Rachel could select the document for the chapter, she heard a sound behind her. She spun around in her swivel chair, only to see nothing. She heard the sound again, and heart pounding, she scanned the room frantically. Still nothing.

"Ahem. Down HERE." Startled, she followed the voice down to the floor and saw a huge mouse, the size of a cat, wearing a sword!

Rachel screamed. "Eeek! What's a mouse doing in my room?"

Deciding to ignore her, the mouse took out some papers from who-knows-where and handed them to her. "My name's Peepiceek, and I'm from the enrollment department of the Official Fanfiction University of Narnia, or OFUN for short. These," he indicated the papers she was holding, "are your enrollment papers."

Rachel stuttered, "But I…I'm only a freshman!"

"A freshman?" Peepiceek asked himself, confused. Then he shook his head decisively. "Oh, never mind what that is. Just fill out those papers and we'll be on our way."

Sighing, Rachel glanced through the small packet. As she read the description of OFUN (A school where you can learn to write good Narnian Fanfiction with you favorite characters as teachers!) she started to smile. "This must be a dream," she told herself, "which means that I'm going to have as much fun with this as I can!"

"A…HEM." Peepiceek cleared his throuat again. When Rachel glanced down at him in surprise, he said, "Get to it. We haven't all day."

Grumbling to herself, Rachel found the beginning of the enrollment form. She grabbed a silver gel pen and began to fill it out.

**Name:**

She automatically wrote "Rachel Torrens" before checking herself and crossing out out, writing instead "Ker'lisse Destynye Petra Aslansdaughter".

**Species (circle one): Son of Adam/Daughter of Eve, mermaid, faun, centaur, dryad, naiad, unicorn, other (please specify_)**

She circled "dryad" and went on to the next one.

**If you circled dryad, which species of tree are you?**

Thinking for a second at this, she finally put down "Rowan" because it sounded pretty. On to the next one.

**Gender (circle one): Male, Female**

She circled Female, noting in the margin "Can't you tell by the name?"

**Hair color: **

She mulled over this item for a bit before writing "Silk-and-gold-colored"

**Eye color:**

"Turquoise-emerald"

**Height: **

"5'5"

**Distinguishing marks: **

She referred back to the first chapter of her newest story and wrote down "Crown-shaped birthmark on left shoulder".

**Age range:**

"Late teens"

**Bookverse or Movieverse?**

"Movieverse." And then she muttered to herself, "Duh! Where else can I stare at William Moseley?"

**Who is your Narnian lust object?**

She wrote "Peter, duh!" and then proceeded to draw sparkly hearts all around his super-hot name.

"AHEM!" Startled, she looked down again at Peepiceek, who was tapping his paw in impatience. "Please refrain from drawing on the form."

Rachel sighed and went back to filling said form out.

**Have you ever written Slash/Femslash?**

"No, and I never will."

Have you ever written a story in which an OC falls in love with your lust object? If so, how many?

She had to go back onto her account to answer this question, finally coming up with "Yes, ten."

**Any favorite pairings besides OCs X your lust object?**

"Susan x Caspian! They're so cute together!"

**Why do you write Narnian fanfiction?**

Thinking for a while, she finally wrote, "Because Peter really needs to get a girlfriend and my characters are perfect matches for him! Matches made in Aslan's Country!"

**Have you ever been flamed?**

"Yes." And then she drew a lot of sad faces around it.

Peepiceek cleared his throat again, and she quickly continued.

**Have you ever had a beta?**

"My friend Lori is my beta."

**What is your opinion on your OCs?**

"They're my children, and I love them! If anybody is mean to them, I have to protect them, don't I? And on the side, I also have to find the perfect person for them to spend the rest of their lives with, namely, Peter!"

This was the end of the form, and she skimmed over the ten pages of fine print and finally located the "Sign here" line. She carefully wrote "_Ker'lisse Destynye Petra Aslansdaughter_" in cursive on said line.

Blowing on the ink to help it dry, Rachel closed the packet and handed it to Peepiceek, who stowed it in the same place he had taken it from, i.e. who-knows-where. "All right then," he said briskly, "the carriage will come along soon to take you to the university!" With a cliché bang and cloud of smoke, Peepiceek vanished.

Rachel shrugged and went back to her computer. She brushed the mouse to clear the screensaver, chose the document for Chapter 1 of _Foredestined by the stars_, and clicked Publish New Story. She sat back in satisfaction as her newest masterpiece was sent out to the world.

And screamed as her back sank into plush upholstery, not the leather back of her swivel chair like she had expected.

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><p><strong>All right then, my first humor fic. Please review!<strong>

**On another note, the OFUN is accepting new students. Here's the form again, for easy enrollment!**

**Name:**

**Species (circle one): Son of Adam/Daughter of Eve, mermaid, faun, centaur, dryad, naiad, unicorn, other (please specify_)**

**If you circled dryad, which species of tree are you?**

**Gender (circle one): Male, Female **

** Hair color: **

**Eye color: **

** Height: **

**Distinguishing marks:**

** Age range: **

**Bookverse or Movieverse? Who is your Narnian lust object? Have you ever written Slash/Femslash?**

**Have you ever written a story in which an OC falls in love with your lust object? If so, how many?**

**Any favorite pairings besides OCs X your lust object?**

**Why do you write Narnian fanfiction? Have you ever been flamed? Have you ever had a beta? What is your opinion on your OCs?**

**Please note that I will accept only one character per person. But I WILL accept one character from every person who enrolls. And please tell me if your character will be an extremist in any way (i.e. extreme book/movieverser, extreme shipper, extremely protective of OCs, etc.) **

**~Warriormaid (aka Miss Sara)**

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><p><strong>Peepiceek proceeds to take your enrollment form in the shape of a review, stow it who-knows-where, clear his throat one last time, and vanish in that cliché bang and cloud of smoke.<strong>


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N. Yay! 4 reviews already! **

**Disclaimer: All the OFUs (including this Narnian one) ultimately belong to Miss Cam, Narnia belongs to Jack Lewis, and I do not own the TARDIS. In fact, I do not even own A TARDIS.**

**-still unbetaed-**

Chapter 2

Miss Sara sat at her desk and rubbed her temples. The Official Mice Enrollment Squad had already come back with a mini-serpent, and Miss Sara was none too happy about it. Of course, Miss Sara occasionally created mini-serpents purposely to help with crowd control (especially around Peter and Caspian), but if there was ALREADY a student-spawned mini-serpent, that couldn't bode well for the coming year.

"You all right, Miss Sara?" She looked up to see Jill Pole looking worriedly at her. "Shall I get you some asprin?"

Miss Sara shook her head. "I'm all right. But thanks anyways, Jill."

Persisting, Jill asked, "What is it? Still puzzling over applications?"

"And checking for any hidden minis. Oh, speaking of hidden minis, meet Caspain. Caspain, meet Jill Pole." A mini-serpent came out from under Miss Sara's desk, and, interestingly enough, bowed deeply to Jill. Then it turned and looked at Miss Sara, almost pleadingly, and Miss Sara nodded.

The mini-serpent slithered off quickly, hissing in satisfaction, and Jill looked inquistively at Miss Sara. Waving a dismissive hand, the Assistant Headmaster explained, "Training. Caspain's really excited to learn."

"Unlike our incoming students." Jill couldn't help but smirk.

Miss Sara smiled. "Yes, well, I was planning to talk to you about the whole rooming and scheduling students thing." She flipped through the pile of applications until she found the one she was looking for. She slid it across the desk for Jill to take a look. "Here's the one who will probably be salutatorian this year. And I've already picked out the most possible valedictorian – it's a guy. But I misplaced his application somewhere…I'll have to get back to you on that. Meanwhile, take a look at this."

Jill bent over the application. As she read it, she murmured to herself, "Anna Jamison…not a Sue name, but not an AntiSue name either…she's circled 'Daughter of Eve' – we don't have many every year…chestnut-colored hair and green eyes…there goes the AntiSue prospect…14 years old…five foot five…no distinguishing marks…no slash…Caspian the Tenth and Ramandu's daughter…me and Eustace. I guess that's forgivable, though if one of those blatant Sues comes in with that…whatever. Anna has three betas going over each of her works…never been flamed…OCs are tools just like any original characters…you're right, Miss Sara!"

Said Miss Sara sighed and pointed to the "Who is your Narnian lust object" blank. "And yet she's still a luster."

Jill had thought that the girl had left that blank, but on peering closer, she saw the words "Shasta aka King Cor" written in really small print, as if it had embarrassed her. She looked up, a small smile on her face. "There goes all of Shor's hopes and dreams."

"What hopes and dreams? Last I heard, all he wanted was for Corin to be king." Miss Sara leaned forward, interested. "He never told me this…"

"Remember those two Shasta fangirls we had last year?" Jill asked.

Miss Sara grimaced. "I wish I didn't. We had to surround Shor with almost the same amount of mini-serpents we gave Caspian. Which depleted Edmund's guard, which led to him almost being drowned in the Great Eastern Sea."

"I don't want to know." Jill said quickly. "Anyways, Shor said that since he was afflicted with those two last year, Aslan would take pity on him and give him a good year with no fangirls."

"Well, following that path of thought, those two fangirls could have enrolled because Shor did something wrong the previous year." Miss Sara said. "But I don't think that this one will bother him too much. Hopefully." she added.

Suddenly, something exploded outside, sparking a sickly green fire and causing green smoke to float in the open window, filling the room with an odor of rotten eggs. Miss Sara sighed, coughed, marched over to the window, slammed said window shut, and called through the intercom "Will the cleaning dryads please come to the Assistant Headmaster's office?"

She led Jill into the adjoining room as Jill remarked, "Looks like Lirtle isn't too happy today."

"Either that or the summer mini-serpents plus Caspain got bored and are having some fun." Miss Sara suggested. "Well, I supposed I'll have to deal with whoever made that mess. Can you set up the rooms and schedules, please, Jill?" Without waiting for an answer, she shoved the pile of applications at Jill and stood up. "Meanwhile, I'll go have the usual beginning-of-year talk with the guys. You'll probably have it tomorrow."

Jill took the hint, picked up the papers, and walked out the door. As she did so, the sound of another explosion made the window shudder in its frame. Miss Sara sighed and followed Jill out the door, saying, "Before you start that, can you find Lucy and ask her to gather all the guys in the meeting room in about half an hour, at 5? I'm going to see what exactly is going on out there." Jill nodded and went off to the gardens, where she knew Lucy would be. Miss Sara sighed and went outside, looking for the source of the commotion.

She started massaging her temples again when she saw what was going on. The Lady of the Green Kirtle, or Lirtle as the other staff called her, was teaching the mini-serpents some new tricks.

"Lirtle, HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I TOLD YOU THAT THE MINI-SERPENTS ARE NOT YOUR PUPILS?" Miss Sara yelled.

Lirtle looked up from the fire, the green flames mirrored in her dark eyes, and replied, "But they're mine, my own, my precccciousssssessssss!"

Miss Sara sighed again. "Wrong world, wrong character, Lirtle. Now, will you please put out that disgusting green fire?"

"You jussssssst think it'ssssss ugly becaussssssse your little orange flamessssss are jusssssst imitationss of my fire, jusssssst assss your Asssssslan issssssss a childissssssh imitation of my catsss." Lirtle said in a hissing but still singsong fashion.

Miss Sara shook a fist at the Authoress. "That's not possible!"

The Authoress sighed and proceeded to wipe the minds of Miss Sara (who, coincidentally, was a self-insert), Lirtle, and the mini-serpents, leaving them all looking around in a very confused manner. The Authoress sighed again and filled in their empty memories with the events up until a few minutes ago.

"Just put it out, okay?" Miss Sara yelled at Lirtle. "Seriously!"

"But why ssssssssshould I, Missssss Sssssssara?" Lirtle asked in that same singsong voice. "Why ssssssssssssshould I lisssssssten to YOU?"

Miss Sara had had enough. "Just put it out, Lirtle! I am the Assistant Headmaster of OFUN! I ORDER you to put it out!"

Lirtle still made no move to put out the fire, and the dancing puce-colored flames were really making Miss Sara nauseous. Consenquently, she pulled something out of her jacket pocket and pointed it at Lirtle. "Put. It. Out. Now."

Cowering under the power of Miss Sara's Weapon of Intimidation™, Lirtle had no choice but to will the fire to go out, however grumpily. As soon as the last green flame disappeared, the horde of summer mini-serpents (plus Caspain) descended on the embers, hissing mournfully.

Miss Sara sighed and looked at her watch. It was quarter til 5, and she still had a lot to do before the first students arrived tomorrow. "Come on, Caspain. Let's go. Leave these silly summer minis here – they'll be assigned to their posts soon."

Somehow, the mini-serpent sprouted wings and flew up to Miss Sara's shoulder. Miss Sara stared at Caspain inquisitively, but the mini-serpent just hissed in satisfaction. Miss Sara walked back to her office, muttering, "These minis do something new every day."

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><p><strong>How was it? Remember, the OFUN is still accepting new students! The form is at the end of the first chapter. And I would appreciate mini-serpent spottersspottings!**

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><p><strong>Raextreme – First of all, I am NOT criticizing you for spelling Caspian wrong by making Caspain a mini-serpent. I was just stuck for serpent ideas. And I won't be able to accept your character yet because 1. I added some more parts of the form and 2. I can't PM you with them. Can you please tell me Lita's hair color, eye color, height, and age? Oh, and if she has any distinguishing marks? Kthxby!<strong>

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><p><strong>Reelapeer clears his throat one last time and accepts your application in the form of a review or PM. With a not-so-cliché TARDIS, he travels to Narnia, leaving you staring at the place where he had been standing just a minute ago.<strong>


	3. Chapter 3

**A.N. So many awesome characters and reviews! I'm going to have to close down enrollment soon!**

**Disclaimer: Hmm…the OFUs originated with Miss Cam, Narnia is the property of Clive Staples Lewis, and Diana Arden belongs to one awesome reviewer named lemonsmania.**

**-as yet unbetaed-**

Chapter 3

"Where am I?" Rachel asked the air. Then Rachel proceeded to scowl at the Authoress. "My name's Ker'lisse, not Rachel!"

Fine then. "Where am I?" KER'LISSE asked the air. She was surprised to hear a voice actually answering her, coming from the front passenger seat.

"You're on the Dawn Treader. The finest ship in Narnia's navy." Rachel – sorry – Ker'lisse craned her neck and saw just a glimpse of a huge hairy body.

"Oh, do shut up, Tavros. Just because you were in a movie doesn't mean you have to walk around saying all your lines." This other speaker was a teenager, sitting in the driver's seat and holding the reins. "Pay no attention to him, Ker'lisse. You're in a carriage, heading towards the OFUN. I'm Eustace, or Mr. Scrubb as I believe Miss Sara wishes the students to call me. This big minotaur here," he shoved the first speaker, "is Tavros, commander of the Student Transportation Squad."

Rachel – all RIGHT! – Ker'lisse didn't know what to make of this. Consenquently, she sagged back in the upholstered seat, going back into daydreams of Peter and his epic hotness.

She suddenly jerked up, startled by a soft, sibilant hissing in her ear. "What WAS that?"

Tavros peered back over his seat. Ker'lisse (thank you!) stifled a scream at his great furry bovine head. As soon as he saw what was bothering her, he threw his head back and laughed, banging his head on the carriage roof in the process. "Ow! Well, anyways, Ker'lisse, you've gotten your first introduction to the mini-serpents. That one there is Eustase, I believe. I suppose he's just unhappy with your dreaming of the High King."

Flustered, Ker'lisse replied, "H-h-how does it know?"

Tavros shrugged, his huge shoulders appearing briefly above the seat before disappearing again. "We don't know. Just the other day, Miss Sara was talking to Jill about how these things do something new and unexpected every day."

"Miss Sara? Who's she?" Ker'lisse asked.

Mr. Scrubb replied in a very matter-of-fact voice, "Miss Sara is OFUN's assistant headmaster. She's the one who oversees the day-to-day running of the university."

"All right then, can you tell me exactly WHAT THE HECK AM I DOING GOING TO UNIVERSITY AT AGE 14?" Ker'lisse just about yelled. Mr. Scrubb and Tavros exchanged a glanc.e Then Tavros sighed and handed something to Mr. Scrubb, who pocketed it with a small whoop of triumph.

Meanwhile, as soon as Ker'lisse said that, she felt herself shrinking. Breath shuddering, she asked, "What just happened?"

"You put down late teens on your application, right?" Tavros asked. Shakily, Ker'lisse affirmed this, and he continued, "Whenever you say something that contradicts with what you wrote in your application, you regress in that aspect to what you really are. So, in this case, you have gone back to being a 14-year-old instead of, say, a 17 or 18-year-old."

"So I have to stick with my story? Can't I choose a new one whenever I want?" Ker'lisse whined.

Mr. Scrubb facepalmed and muttered something about Susan and somebody named Mary. Then he said, "Ker'lisse, this is NOT one of your fanfics. I hope that you will realize that you can't change your past in real life."

"But I don't even remember half of what I wrote!" she exclaimed.

Mr. Scrubb shrugged. "Your loss." He sighted something by the road and cracked the reins to make the horses stop. Ker'lisse peered out her window and saw a girl about her age with reddish-brown hair and green eyes.

Mr. Scrubb got off the carriage and started talking with the girl, who seemed very agitated. Mr. Scrubb talked to her a bit more, and Ker'lisse drummed her fingers impatiently on her leg, wondering why Mr. Scrubb had to talk to some random hitchhiker.

Tavros was wondering the same thing. "Where is that girl's carriage?" he muttered to himself.

After a couple minutes, Mr. Scrubb opened the carriage door. "Seems like you'll be sharing your ride." he told Ker'lisse. "Would you be so kind as to move over so she has some room?" He closed the door before Ker'lisse had time to protest. Sulkily, she scooched over.

The girl got on as soon as Ker'lisse had moved. Mr. Scrubb got on soon after, and as he cracked the reins again to get the horses moving, he said, "Now, Ker'lisse, this is Anna Jamison. Anna, this is Ker'lisse Destynye Petra Aslansdaughter." Ker'lisse didn't realize it, but Eustace was literally grimacing as he said her name.

Shyly, Anna said, "Nice to meet you , Ker'lisse." She stuck her hand out for Ker'lisse to shake, and as Ker'lisse did so, she mumbled "Nice to meet you too."

Eustace explained to Tavros in a low voice, "She got left behind by…Prunaprismia and the Jackdaw, I think she said."

"Why?" Tavros asked, confused.

Eustace shrugged. "Search me, I don't know. If I recall correctly, she's the one that Miss Sara pointed out to Jill yesterday, the one who was probably going to be salutatorian this year."

"Her? Then why, in the name of the Lion, did the fruit and the Joker drop her out here in the middle of nowhere?"

Eustace sighed. "What do you expect from the Prune? Is she really that logical?"

Grumbling, Tavros muttered. "She's in the transportation squad because Miss Sara put her there. And Miss Sara rarely makes mistakes."

Eustace facepalmed. Then he remembered something else he had to do. "We've got somebody else to pick up. A Miss Diana Arden."

"But we were only supposed to pick up ONE person! Why three?" Tavros asked angrily.

Eustace shrugged. "Ask Miss Sara. She told me."

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><p><strong>I went skiing on Saturday and now my arms hurt like the dickens. And my fingerse hurt from working on an original story. And from processing applications. Which brings me to the next point – don't worry if your character won't appear for a while. I'm still trying to figure out how to put them all in, but rest assured, they WILL be all in.<strong>

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><p><strong>Fluffysparkles – Thanks for the review and the character! PS love your username!<strong>

**A new character – Thanks a bunch!**

**Queen Katrina the Seafarer – You've disabled PMs, otherwise I would have sent you a thankyoo note a LONG time ago. Well, thanks all the same!**

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><p>"<strong>A-HEM." Peechipeer clears his throat and stares at you impatiently, tapping his paw and looking at his nonexistent watch. He takes your application in the form of a PM or review, pulls a convienient painting from who-knows-where, and jumps into it, leaving you awaiting your carriage.<strong>


	4. Chapter 4

**A.N. * cowers in corner * sorry! RL caught up with me – that is, I went on a cruise at the beginning of Feburary, then had writer's block, then gave up fanfiction for Lent. * holds out peace offering * longer chapter than normal? * awkward smile ***

**Disclaimer: Narnia belongs to Clive S. Lewis, Diana Arden belongs to lemonsmania, Miss Ariel belongs to Ariyah/Ariel_of_Narnia (thanks much!), Miss Cam is the ultimate headmaster of all the OFUs, and I only own an Under Armor backpack, not the company itself. Oh, and the Hunger Games belongs to Suzanne Collins. No, I'm not a really big fan, but I needed a OFU that Diana could have been rejected from. * apologetic smile to THG fans * But seriously, the OFUP does not exist yet…at least I don't think so…**

**-still unbetaed-**

Chapter 4

"Stay here." Mr. Scrubb ordered Anna and Ker'lisse. "We'll go in and pick up Diana."

Ker'lisse brightened up at this. With both Mr. Scrubb and Tavros gone, she might finally get a chance to talk with Anna about William – wait, no, Peter.

Mr. Scrubb opened her door as well, beckoning Eustase out of the carriage. As soon as he closed the door, Ker'lisse leaned over and asked Anna, "Are you excited to meet Peter?"

Anna shrugged. "Well, he's the High King of Narnia, so I suppose I am. But I'm more interested in meeting Queen Lucy and Reepicheep."

"But how could you not want to meet Peter? It's like meeting Justin Bieber, only better!" Ker'lisse gushed.

Anna rolled her eyes. "Well, I would rather NOT meet Justin Bieber, thankyouverymuch."i

"Well then, you must like Edmund, at least!" Ker'lisse pleaded.

Shrugging again, Anna replied, "I suppose so. But really, I'm not attracted to any of the Friends of Narnia."

"The Friends of Narnia? Is that some kind of Narnia geek society or something?" Ker'lisse asked, confused. "Why would you be attracted to geeks?"

Anna facepalmed and muttered "Stupid moviewatchers." Then she said, "You know, in _The Last Battle_? The seven Friends of Narnia? Digory, Polly, Pe-the High King, Edmund, Lucy, Jill, and Eus-Mr. Scrubb? Ring any bells?"

"They formed a secret geek society?" Ker'lisse asked.

Anna proceeded to slap her forehead. Then she said, "Never mind," and turned to stare out the window.

Ker'lisse humphed, crossed her arms, and turned to look out her own window, relapsing back into daydreams about the High King as soon as she made sure there weren't any hidden mini-serpents in the carriage. Anna glanced over, saw that daydreamy look on her face, rolled her eyes, and proceeded to start writing in a notebook.

"September 2

Don't know if I'm dreaming or not. A redhaired lady rang my doorbell after breakfast and introduced herself as Prunaprismia. I was like 'Yay for bookverse!' and she sighed and told me that she had come to pick me up for college. And I was like 'um…I'm only in high school…' and she sighed again and said, 'Didn't you sign up for the Official Fanfiction University of Narnia?' and of course, I actually understood that that was a rhetorical question.

But then I was like 'Wait, I signed up for the NARNIAN one?' and she was like "You signed up for both OFUN and OFUM at the same time, don't you remember? You checked the "Double Deal: Two OFUs for the price of one!" box.' So apparently when I signed up for OFUM, I signed up for this one too. Makes some sort of twisted sense, since I was in the middle of a crossover not too long ago.'

She quickly closed the notebook when she heard voices coming closer to the carriage. The door opened, and Anna reluctantly scooted over closer to Ker'lisse to make room for Diana.

Diana was a tall brunette, carrying an Under Armor drawstring bag. Anna's first impression of her was that she was one of those stoic atheletic types.

And then this impression was totally shattered when Diana jumped in the carriage and started chattering excitedly. "So do you think we're still dreaming? It doesn't feel like a dream, but you never know. I hope this is reality, because that means that we're actually going to get to meet all the Kings and Queens of Narnia and all the talking animals and dryads and centaurs and naiads! I'm really excited! Aren't you?" she asked when she finally paused for breath.

Anna smiled. Finally, someone to fangirl with who wasn't inexplicably obsessed with Skandar or William! "Of course!" She had no more time to say anything because Diana went off again.

"You know, I heard that the Official Fanfiction University of Narnia can actually give you a real degree, not just in fanfiction." Diana said.

"Oh?" Anna asked, her interest piqued. "And how would that work?"

"Well, I think that you can get a degree that would actually be valid in Narnia, you know, the Narnia of Aslan, not the old Narnia. Apparently the Telmarine culture requires degrees for some vocations." Diana shrugged.

Anna sighed. "Well then, that would require us to stay in Narnia."

"I'm not objecting to THAT!" Diana laughed.

"Staying in Narnia? Oh, I'd most definitely NOT object to that, especially not if my Petey-kins is there!" Ker'lisse gushed.

Dianna and Anna were barely able to hold in their laughter. As it was, Ker'lisse raised her dainty eybrows at the other girls' shaking shoulders. "What are you laughing at?"

"Oh, nothing, nothing at all." Anna waved a dismissive hand when she had somewhat recovered.

Ker'lisse hmphed, not believing her, and turned to stare out the window, arms crossed. She was promptly startled by Tavros' huge hairy face almost pressed up against the glass.

"Y'all right in there? Eustace – Mr. Scrubb has to make a call to Miss Sara. It might take a bit." He rumbled.

"Miss Sara? Who's she?" Anna asked, confused.

Tavros sighed. "She's the Assistant Headmaster of the University. You'll get to know her soon enough." He chucked at this, memories of previous hapless students springing to mind. "She'll soon set you to rights, especially our Miss Rachel – I mean Ker'lisse – here. 'Learn through pain', that's her motto. The motto of all Assistant Headmasters of any and all Official Fanfiction Universities. Miss Cam was the first."

Anna groaned. Memories of OFUM were enough to freak her out, even though she was one of the star students, since she had no lust object from Middle-eart. Well, there's that small smidge of Faramir, but…Moving on before Anna decides to lynch the Authoress.

To break her chain of thought, she turned to Diana and asked, "So, have you been to any of the Fanfiction Universities?"

"Nah, I was rejected from the Official Fanfiction University of Panem." she said sadly, shaking her head. "You?"

"OFUM. The original. And believe me, it was NOT fun." Anna replied.

"You went to Lord of the Rings land?" Ker'lisse squeed. "Did you meet Legolas?"

Anna sighed. "It's called MIDDLE-EARTH, my dear. And yes, I did meet Legolas, who is most certainly NOT all he's cut out to be."

Ker'lisse gasped. "You mean he's even hotter?"

Rolling her eyes and slapping her forehead, Anna replied, "No."

Shrugging, Ker'lisse said, "Whatever. Peter's hotter anyways."

Anna rolled her eyes again, glancing at Diana, who sighed and slapped her forehead as well. Leaning over, she whispered, "Can't do anything about her, eh, Anna? Hopeless Sue."

"Ah well, like you said, she's a Sue. What do you expect?" Anna asked rhetorically.

Suddenly the carriage lurched forward. The three girls bolted up in surprise, as they hadn't even realized that Mr. Scrubb or Tavros had gotten in the carriage.

"You all right back there?" Mr. Scrubb asked. "It's going to be a long ride. See if you can get some sleep – you'll need it once classes start. Miss Sara works students hard. Very hard"

Following his advice, Diana soon fell asleep, due to both the gentle clip-clop of the horses and Ker'lisse's endless and monotonous ramblings of Peter, which stopped after a while.

Ker'lisse herself, however, could not fall asleep. She stared out the window as the sun sank below the horizon and the stars came out. Clenching her fists in excitement, she whispered "Yes! I'm coming, Peter!"

Anna, who had dozed off, sighed at this and sat up, shaking Eustase the mini-serpent off her shoulder as she did so. Ignoring its annoyed hiss, she snarled "Shut UP, Ker'lisse!" The blasted girl, however, shot her a disgusted glance and went back to whispering out the window.

Anna rolled her eyes and asked Mr. Scrubb cautiously, "How much alike are OFUN and OFUM?"

"Not too different. I mean, we've got our bloodthirsty Assistant Headmaster, we've got our minis, our heavily guarded lust objects, and our reanimated bad guys. But our Assistant Headmaster's got a good side to her as well."

"Well, that's something Miss Cam certainly doesn't have." Anna sighed.

Mr. Scrubb shook his head. "I'm not saying that Miss Sara isn't wholly bloodthirsty and malevolent. What I'm saying is that Miss Ariel is her good side. The one who tells her when you kids have had enough."

Mulling over this, Anna asked, "So Miss Ariel is like the good cop, and Miss Sara is like the bad cop?"

"Sure." Mr. Scrubb replied. "I'd guess that's a decent way of putting it."

"So, any other differences? Diana was telling me that she ehard that we can get actual degrees at OFUN, not just degrees in fanfiction writing." Anna said.

"That's true. Technically, OFUN is a misnomer. Just OUN – the Official University of Narnia – would be more fitting, but it started out as a fanfiction university, and that it will stay. But the degrees are only valid in the real Narnia, not in any of the Shadowlands." Mr. Scrubb answered.

Anna thought about this for a minute, taking it in. "So if we choose to live in Narnia, we can get a job and all?"

"Yeah, sure. And the whole muddle about the times applies here too. But you can only live in Narnia for stints of 20 years. Don't ask me why, ask Aslan himself. Anyways, 20 years seems like a lot, but some find that it goes by like a blink of an eye. Now, seriously, get some sleep." Mr. Scrubb insisted.

"What about you?" Anna asked, worried.

He shrugged. "I'll be fine. The horses can go by themselves when they need to – they've walked this path enough times already to know every bump in the road."

**Was it long enough? Never mind, I hope the next chapter'll come pretty fast…**

**Read and review? * puppy eyes ***


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